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hey i'm hawke and i reblog things i like. i always queue my stuff. expect a high dose of pokemon. i reblog anthro stuff too.

one-starry-knight:

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literally could not rest until I made this joke

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artykyn:
“prideling:
“ gunvolt:
“im going to have a stroke
”
Instead try…
Person A: You know… the thing
Person B: The “thing”?
Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING...

artykyn:

prideling:

gunvolt:

im going to have a stroke

Instead try…

Person A: You know… the thing
Person B: The “thing”?
Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD

As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:

  • Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.
  • Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”
  • Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.
  • Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.
  • Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.
  • Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.
  • Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”

Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”

Anonymous: 

im geussing hole asmr is put the migropheon in you're pussie...

🤨

boobpurgatory:

top 10 asks written in middle english

dukeofash:

protectcosette:

doubleca5t:

reallyreallyreallytrying:

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

An actual World Heritage Post

how does this post not have a million notes but anyone online can quote it

Happy birthday! Spiders Georg is now 10 years old!

dukeofash:

A story and warning about emotes. 

source: x

angelicguy:

peachpartime-deactivated2022072:

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babylonbirdmeat:

babylonbirdmeat:

People will tell me to Touch Grass and I am just like “I live in the FUCKING desert what grass????”

@spitblaze

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I am trying but they are so fast and crafty

woodrider:

average dating app: hi im single and like coffee and the office lol. i also love dogs and hiking haha (works in sales)

furry dating app: hewwooo ;3 im just a widdle foxxo who loves VRchat and memes xD (is a neuroscientist)

queer dating app: in my coquette era bumping girl in red in my docs. activist and satanist. ask me about my 7 girlfriends (is unemployed)

smugbugunderarug:

patema-introverted:

birdsareblooming:

the-caped-shadow:

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Whatever you say, Tails!

the-caped-shadow:

I can’t help but chuckle whenever Tails introduces himself by stating, “My name’s Miles Prower, but my friends call me Tails” because… well… Eggman calls him Tails…

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Source: Sonic Universe, Issue #35 (2011)

I think Eggman thinks “Tails” Is just his real name

Eggman goes to a science conference and decides to sit in on a rocket-science lecture by some dude called Dr. Miles Prower and then has a heart attack when Tails walks onto the stage and starts talking

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id like to see that happen lol

bonus:

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unfortunatpanda:

dr-cringe:

fancybroom:

lil-grimlynn:

VIETNAM HAS MOSS FROGS.

THEY LIVE IN MOSS.

THEY ARE CUTE AS FUCK!

A green bumpy frog with yellowish eyes. It is sitting on a human hand facing your left.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk. Now lets go live the way of the moss frog.

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