marisatomay:

marisatomay:

cooking baking

you’re the only person who gets it

imlizy:

my fellow monk at the monastery of four elements after i fail to execute my devastating updog joke on a fellow brother of the order: clearly you didnt own the air friar

felassan:

a story in two pictures [source, two]

the-best-url-on-this-site:

Kitchen Nightmares is really just like

Owners: i don’t know why my restaurant is failing. Chef Ramsey please help

Ramsey: hello i am Gordon Ramsay. How is the food

Owners: we have the best food

*food comes out*

Gordon: this is an alive rat

Owners: our customers love te alive rat. We have the best food. Every day they order the alive rat.

*dinner service*

Customer: oh my god this is an alive rat

Waitress: is everything okay?

Customer: no it’s an alive rat

*food is sent back*

Owner: this has never happened before. Fuck you Gordon Ramsay you should just leave. People love the alive rat

*Gordon goes in the freezer*

Gordon: there are 25 molds unknown to science. The rats have set up a lab to study them. Blimey. Scientist rats. They’ve unionized.

*later*

Gordon: your food is bad

Owner: no!!!!!!!!

Gordon: yes

Owner: oh my god our food is bad

*remodel, menu change*

Owner: oh my god Gordon Ramsay you saved my life thank you so much

Gordon: promise never to serve alive rats again, yeah?

Owner: yes of course

*end of episode*

Gordon: ratatouille ammirite? *He walks away chuckling*

End card: the restaurant was shut down three months later because they went back to serving alive rats.

nudibranchparty:

random-ferret:

random-ferret:

I read that capsaicin makes your mouth feel like it’s burning because it increases your nerve sensitivity to heat, and menthol works by doing the same thing to cold

So if I eat a habanero pepper and then chew a bunch of breath mints they’ll each other out and I’ll be fine

Hey guess what hellfire tastes like

Fun fact! The nerve endings for “ouch too hot” and “ouch too cold” are different! Which means that they can both be activated at once, without cancelling out. Rip OP.

bearie:

bearie:

i miss streetpass sooo much

im not good with words but something about carrying ur 3ds in ur bag and opening it up to find out u had this teeny tiny thing in common with the people around u that u never spoke 2…. it was nice

taboovithehomecoming:

oingeaux boingeaux

imthehuggernaut:

yourlocalaphrodisian:

todaysbird:

“ravens are symbols of death, demons, and the underworld”

x

Ravens have always been associated with prophecy, foresight, wisdom, divine intervention and ice cream

can’t believe the art side of tumblr hasn’t drawn a cute version of this little raven putting on her pink lipstick in the morning before going out to the raven shopping mall and seeing her raven girlfriends

brain-confetti:

rapeculturerealities:

Absolutely nothing prepared me for the end